A new beginning

 

beginning
Photo by: Nick Ford

How many of us have experienced a new beginning? A return to what was left behind for a period of five years. The encounter is not similar to that what was left behind before this time. Joy, reunion, melancholy – it is a little bit of everything, which cannot be defined very clearly.

You are confused in a place, which belongs to you but you do not know what to start with. Things, which were put there long before, are useless to you and stand in a wrong place. The sense is not the same anymore. You try to create a fundament, to build something but you do not really know what is meaningful to you now and what not. You try to find back to yourself and to accept yourself in your new life. The place is not the same anymore – you pace up and down to a material without form and base.

 

But what does a new beginning exist? What this new challenge about? Is there a new way of acceptance beyond all the other remaining questions? A way of acceptance to be content with what you have already obtained. Could you also realize more? You come back to the place where you actually are and try to accept yourself. It is a rotation movement, a vicious circle, which makes it impossible to break through. You observe and try to accept yourself and to build something- slowly, but surely. A new day starts after a few hours.

 

This new day should get integrated in the life of here and now. A question is popping up, which brings you to nowhere but hoping that there is still something. You do not think anymore you just execute. You act mechanically and try a new form of contentment. You realize that this is not as good as you thought and you try to “improve”. You struggle full of hope that you are starting again. This is a new beginning…

 

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