We all need friends and not just when things are going badly. A true life force, this unique relationship based on the sharing of feelings has become an essential factor in our existence. This emotional nourishment is essential to our emotional needs, to our physical well-being, to our general balance. The problem is that we are not surrounded only by “true friends”. How can we recognize those who want us well and weed out those who do us harm?
True and False Friends: How to recognize them?
How to write about friendship, its solidity, and its fragility too, if not by recounting the memories of friendships, which all seemed permanent, eternal, before sometimes closing, on a misunderstanding, a flash of lucidity, a disappointment, in a word unfortunate. Because behind people we believe to be friends are often hiding our greatest enemies. So how to distinguish the true from the false in friendship?
Friendship, a safe bet
Those who have real friends know how much that can mean. Being able to confide in each other, speak with confidence, share the trials and joys of life with another woman would also be really beneficial for our health. Friendship is certainly a feeling just as deep as love, but of a different nature. No physical dimension, nor passionate moments for long-term friendships that bring us enormously.
It is true that friendships often begin as a love story. Few love at first sight, but a community of interests or a community of life. School, high school, student life, office, gym, the meeting can take place almost anywhere and the relationship can be established easily.
Just like love too, friendship can appear quickly, as an evidence or on the contrary develop slowly over discussions, giggles, sharing on the events of life. It is then that things change, because friendship does not oblige us to change our life, no life as a couple, except temporarily in the event of a roommate or vacation, and no routine to share either.
A true friend, and not just a girlfriend or relationship, can be a real pillar in our lives over time. There is often shared youth, common memories that we can unearth together as the years go by. Then very frequently, there is the sharing of loves, opinions and mutual advice. If it often happens that we move away while one lives her life as a couple and the other does not, or that each lives in a remote region, it is often better to find each other in the event of a hardship.
There are friends with whom we go to the cinema or for coffee, those with whom we spend long moments on the phone chatting, with whom we exchange news and recipes; we laugh, we talk about our outings, the last book read. We like each other, we feel good together, we enjoy doing things together, but that remains on the surface of things.
Beyond that, there is deep friendship from which no feeling is excluded. She is the friend, the one to whom we feel free to say everything, one joys, one hopes, but also one fears, one anxieties and one frustrations. That on whom we can count at all times, day or night, who listens, who does not judge, the one who knows us like the back of her hand, who gives good advice without imposing anything, the one who helps us get through trials and protects us from loneliness.
The friend acts as a valve in difficult times and protects us from depression. The older we get, the more this quality of friendship becomes a precious asset, a true gift of life!
Learn to distinguish truth from falsehood
The problem is that we don’t only make real friends in our lives. There are those who look a lot like it, who sometimes even have the words and gestures, but who in fact hide rather perverse, hypocritical, envious, jealous and therefore toxic personalities.
Here are some tips to help you recognize a fake friend.
• He takes a lot but gives little.
• It is in the words but never truly in action
• He never calls completely disinterestedly.
• He always tells you the good news very late.
• He doesn’t worry never really for you.
• He disappears as soon as he is no longer single.
• In your presence, he is someone else.
• He always invites you in the last minute.
• He never calls you for free.
• He’s there sometimes when you’re at rock bottom (to rejoice), but he’s never happy when you’re doing well.
• He has already betrayed you at least once times.
•He has already spoken badly of you to others.
• He judges you rather than to understand.
These “false friends” you must therefore detach yourself from them and avoid them as quickly as possible in order to be able to refocus on your real friends. Those with whom we can develop in the long term a mutual relationship of listening, repect, trust, sharing and tenderness.