Dispute, avoid escalation – The 8 pitfalls to avoid!
Arguments happen, and it’s not always very serious. The ideal is to be able to manage them, to be able to talk about them, and to be able to do something constructive and positive about them. This post helps you avoid the 8 pitfalls of an argument.
First of all, there is no point in dramatizing the situation. The slightest dispute that leads to an “everything is over between us”, we have all experienced that, and it is not pleasant for anyone. Tell yourself that an argument is not very serious. It happens to all people.
Say what you feel. Many things left unsaid poison relations. Verbalize your feelings, your emotions. Did one do something that hurt you, or upset you? Tell one.
A dialogue goes both ways. Listen to the other during an argument. Ask one who feels, what solutions one offers, what one thinks. One shouldn’t be silent either. It is often said that communication is the basis of any healthy relationship, it is a cliché, but a cliché that has been verified many times over.
4. Don’t shout
Yelling and getting angry is useless. Out of anger you might say things you might regret later. And when you shout, the person in front no longer listens to anything. Stay calm, and if that doesn’t work, go for a walk, the time to reduce the tension.
5. Take a break
Go for a walk, go to dinner with a girlfriend. Tell your arguing partner that you prefer to leave the argument there, and that you will resume it when things are better. This is the best way to take a step back.
6. Draw conclusions
Often, we fight over the same thing, several times during the same relationship. Remember to draw conclusions: what causes these disputes? How to avoid them in the future? Instead of arguing, discuss.
7. Ask for help
When things are really bad, it’s not a luxury to ask for help. To a psychiatrist, a psychologist, anyone who can lend a hand. Partner sessions exist, and will allow you to have a neutral opinion, and professional advice: we do not say no!
8. Know how to say stop
Sometimes a relationship is doomed. You don’t have anything in common, you don’t get along, you don’t like the city you live in… Say stop. Everyone deserves better from a dysfunctional relationship, who usually stay together. Life is too short to waste time.