Change

Photo by: carriecha

I always tried new and new beginnings. Every path I took had at a certain time point also another change I initially had not expected. I walked and walked again but I always searched for a path, which I could still follow. Because this path was “blocked” I had always to take continuous decisions, to adapt myself to a change and another change, which happened suddenly and unexpectedly changed my course of life.

Some decisions were difficult to take similar to what it is up to me I cannot live a monotonous life, in which I stand and expect without patient what will happen to me in the close future.  So I motivate myself, I arm myself and start impetuously to handle new and new challenges. I do not block myself. I cannot wait. Even if I know that a longer wait later on it might be “successful”.

My need for freedom and “climbing” but only in a controlled sense and which is verified to the risks I take on me gives me again and again a sense in what I am doing. If after a while things become clear and they go as they are supposed to, this does not mean at all that your life is in a order and you can “sleep on a ear”. The protection which is a must have to wear makes you to bring continuously changes.

I always search to be myself, to be special, to be totally different. Sometimes I made it other times not. But the most important thing was my perseverance, I did not give up in the struggle I had with myself. I searched for new paths, ways that others took before me, others I took for the very first time. I took the adventure and made a step on unknown land. I tried things out that have worked others not.

My chances for success might have been understood better by myself and I felt happy about them when I tried something new. The satisfaction of a self-made thing made me keeping fighting, gave me a new sense in life. The “monotonous” life I left behind once being satisfied only to observe on getting or not some things and which did not make me happy at all is now a chapter of the past.

Assuming risks which I had to take when making decisions, which I had to take once, was the moment in which I broke out of the monotony I was part of. Because life means to take part of risks, to assume them and to be able to confront them at a certain time point.

 

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