Dear reader,
This is a very good and very common question: “What should I do when two therapists give me advice that seems to clash?”
Maybe one tells you to be gentle with yourself and accept your emotions, while another suggests you take more responsibility and move into action. And you end up somewhere in between, caught between two different directions.
The good news is that you are not alone in this situation. And even more – these “contradictions” can actually be a gift, if you know how to look at them.
1. Every therapist has their own lens
Therapists don’t work with a one-size-fits-all model. Some are trained in a more cognitive approach and show you how to change your thoughts, others emphasize emotions and the past, while others focus on practical solutions and concrete steps.
What may at first seem like a discrepancy is, in reality, simply diversity of perspectives.
2. You are the center of the process
Even if you go to therapy for guidance, your life doesn’t unfold in your therapist’s office but in your everyday reality. That’s why you are the one who checks whether advice works for you or not. You can ask yourself: “How do I feel if I apply this advice? Does it bring me clarity and help me grow, or does it overwhelm me?”
There’s no need to force anything – what doesn’t fit now may become useful later.
3. Ask, clarify, explore
You have the right to say: “I’ve also received another recommendation that sounds different. How does what you’re telling me now connect to that?”
Sometimes, simply opening this discussion brings a lot of clarity. The therapist can explain the intention, the context, or the right moment for that piece of advice.
4. You don’t have to choose “who is right”
It’s a common trap to think: “One is wrong, the other is right.” In reality, both recommendations may be valid – they just apply to different situations or to different stages of your journey.
Think of them as a menu: some things you taste now, others you leave for later.
5. Trust your inner voice
The purpose of therapy is not to become dependent on other people’s opinions, but to learn to better listen to your own needs. If something doesn’t resonate with you, you have the right to pause. If a message touches you and motivates you, then follow it.
✨ Conclusion:
Contradictory messages can be frustrating at first, but they are also a wonderful opportunity to practice personal discernment. Therapy is a path of inner discovery, and encountering different opinions helps you learn how to choose what truly fits you.