The fact that nature has provided us with good things does not change anything: the way we look at it is seriously lacking in indulgence. But some people see themselves with flaws that are out of proportion to reality. An American researcher in educational psychology, Kristin Neff, notes that we look at others much more tenderly than we do at ourselves. Being a “good mother” to oneself, adopting a fairer outlook, this can be learned, assures us sophrologist Michèle Freud. Just like taming one’s face and body…and finally a positive self-talk.
Reclaiming your face
The smoothing smile. Sit on a chair and breathe calmly, while concentrating on your face. Inhale through your nose, clench your jaws, exhale and unclench them. Then inhale through your mouth while mimicking the sound “O”, exhale and relax your entire face. Then inhale while mimicking the sound “I” with your lips. Exhale. Your face relaxes even more. Release your jaws well. Gently move the bottom one to the right and to the left. The lips open, close, without resistance, the tongue finds its place, supple and untied. The lips are relaxed, and you sketch a slight smile.
Inhabiting your body
Mindfulness. “By establishing a form of intimacy with your body, by listening to its messages and by giving it all the necessary care, curiously, your perception will change, and your body too,” describes Michele Freud. This is the exercise of mindfulness. Start by feeling the water of the shower flowing over you, caressing and soothing. Focus your attention on your gestures, sensations and emotions.
Neutralize your fixations
The benevolent look. The first step of the exercise is to find a series of photos of yourself that you like. Then, on a piece of paper, draw up two lists: “What I like about myself” and “What I don’t like”. Sitting with your back straight, think about your flaw, for example your dark circles, then simultaneously associate with it what you, your eyes. Think about their color, their shape, touch them (through the eyelids), hear the compliments made about them, add light to them. Concentrate for a long time trying to feel the impact of these benevolent “remarks” … Anchor it in your memory through a gesture, for example by squeezing the tip of your thumb and index finger. Do this exercise four times in a row.
Increase your influence
Creative visualization. Imagine yourself as if you were in a movie, in a situation where someone is looking at you with admiration and complimenting you. Then imagine that others are joining in and adding to their praise (continue even if it bothers you). Be an attentive spectator of this scene. Replay the movie regularly to find all the perceptions linked to this image.