How do we love each other?
Love is typically the domain where letting go is a must for serenity and happiness. Pressure, over-adaptation and the desire to perform are simply to be banished from love life, it is an area where only spontaneity is a guarantee of success. Indeed, how to constrain oneself in the long term, and, what is more, in the most intimate sphere of life?
In a relationship where letting go is necessary, one projects his own aspirations onto the other, reducing him to the state of a blank page on which he who fantasizes is alone to write his story. The other sees his identity denied, he is only an almost interchangeable medium and has no say in the matter. This obviously creates conflicts since one is inevitably disappointed, while the other feels flouted. Certain couples thus live with permanent reproaches.
Often, couples’ arguments are punctuated by “always” and “never”. This is because the clashes, arising from a benign daily problem, often degenerate into more general settling of accounts, and bring out grievances accumulated throughout the couple’s history. The faults, identified in the other, if one ceases to fight in vain against them with reproaches, become simple character traits.
On the other hand, there is a type of couple relationship where the two protagonists have already let go. It’s a relationship where one loves the other with full awareness of who they are, without frustrated expectations. Emulation and curiosity have their place here. These couples have discovered the secret of longevity and self-esteem. Obviously, as a general rule, a couple does not correspond 100% to one of the models, but is more or less between the two. It remains to know how to dose the letting go to finally take full advantage of your relationship.
We don’t know who the ideal partner is until we meet him
Not looking for it may be the secret to finding love. To seek love for oneself at all costs is illusory, and to be interested rather in the individuals we meet than in the love that can arise from this meeting. It can also be beneficial to stop looking for the woman or man who matches the model you have in mind. You may be disappointed when you get to know him, or even miss someone who will take you to an unsuspected relationship, much richer, or this person does not exist, and then … You will necessarily be dissatisfied with the encounters that can, if you devote yourself to it a little, change your life. We all have an idealistic friend, steeped in certainties about their “type” of women or men, and above all, eternally single. Chance or direct consequence of his behavior? Up to you…
Romantic Breakups: Avoid self-sabotage
To let go in love, we must accept the other as he or she is, and accept him or she totally. We must even accept that the other no longer loves us. When we are quit, we of course feel sadness. It is a feeling that passes over time. But sometimes you also feel anger about the reasons for the breakup. Gone for someone else, gone because of us (it is perhaps even more painful) … We are wounded in our self-esteem and frustrated. We naturally try to channel these feelings which, very often, come together in anger, towards ourselves and towards each other. This creates a kind of tension, a know that prevents us from being open to life, and thus from continuing to move forward, to meet people and why not, to fall in love again, when that is basically what we are doing. Let’s aspire.