What agitates (stresses) you? (Test)
Of course, external events, unforeseen other emergencies do not promote appeasement. But, at your level, wouldn’t you tend to add more and, therefore, to contribute to your own overwork? This test will help you find out.
Among the following forty statements, tick the ones that correspond to you best.
Calculate your result
For each statement checked, circle your answer. Then do your total of A, B, C and D, and discover your disruptive agent.
What agitated you is:
Majority of A: Hyperactivity
Be on all fronts! Carrying out several tasks at once, never pausing to breathe, panicking at the idea of wasting time or having no plans in sight… You never stop. To act, to design, to produce. Often agitated, even scattered, you only settle down when your body begs for mercy. That is to say, often, a bit too late.
Your needs: to spend your excess physical and mental energy, to be recognized for your talents and skills. Often a competitor, you thrive on challenges and surpassing yourself. You need movement, projects and virgin land to clear.
Your fears: they are linked to immobility. You fear being blocked, stuck, suffocated. Literally or figuratively. Also, acting non-stop is for you the way to escape labels, habits, boredom and confinement.
Originally: in your childhood, you may have been overstimulated, highly valued in what you did or produced (hence a self-esteem very strongly linked to your actions and your performance), or perhaps repeats a parenting pattern to you. It may also be that this overactivity is a defense mechanism against anxiety, that of finding yourself faced with a great void, left to yourself, all alone, as if abandoned.
Towards more peace: practice positive exhaustion. Walking, running, swimming are the best ways to refocus and release your excess energy. Visualizing yourself acting, like sportsmen, is also effective. Finally, “fine actions” such as certain manual activities (gardening, knitting, cooking, sewing), soothe without boring.
Majority of B: Excessive mentalizing
Dissect, analyze, rehash the past, project yourself into the future, develop scenarios and strategies…You tend to desert your body – therefore your sensations, your emotions and your intuition – to live in your head. Unavailable to others and in the present moment, you are often tense, worried, anxious, irritable. Excessively cautious (due to hyper-analysis of consequences and risks), often resentful (due to rumination), you miss out on opportunities and don’t take enough advantage of the good times. You are unaware, which increases your satisfaction and frustration.
Your needs: to protect yourself – from a distance – from emotions, yours, those of others. Running your mind at full speed is the best way to protect yourself. You also need to control your mental scenarios aimed at anticipating the unpredictable and taming the unknown.
Your fears: they are linked to the feeling of powerlessness (not being able, not knowing, not understanding). Hence an intense activity of intellectual speculation.
At the origin: negligent or cold maternal care, an early illness or accident, different forms of abuse. It may also be that, as a child, you had to boost your cognitive faculties to understand what was going on around you (family secrets, conversations between your parents and an elder…) or that you had parents who were intellectually very demanding.
Towards more peace: gradually find your feelings by putting as much awareness as possible in your micro-acts. Putting your feet on the ground and feeling the ground, washing your hands paying attention to the temperature of the water, eating focusing on the flavor and texture of the food. Try as much as possible to express your emotions and feelings, even minimal ones (hunger, thirst, joy, annoyance…).
Majority of C: Guilt
Acting and repenting, taking pleasure and having the impression of wronging someone, giving yourself the minimum of time and care, collecting regrets, having a tendency to sacrifice yourself… This is what your excessive guilt drives you to. You live on tiptoe and apologizing. Of all. With everyone. No wonder you rarely have a light heart and a free spirit. And that you ask for permissions for everything.
Your needs: to be valid in your decisions, recognized in your skills and loved for what you do. And, above all, to be certain that your choices and actions do not displease anyone.
Your fears: they all relate to others, being judged, rejected, excluded or wrongly accused. Hence your permanent anxiety when you are in a relationship or when you have to make choices.
Originally: in your childhood, you may not have felt wanted (or you arrived at the “wrong” moment), you had the feeling of being disappointed (you were too much fantasized by your parents?) or less loved than a brother or sister, you may have had a very sick father or mother, or lived through your parents’ divorce at an age when you did not speak.
Towards more peace: frequent warm and welcoming places as well as generous and benevolent people rather than reproducing your family pattern. Give yourself time to think about what really makes you happy, and gradually increase your means to satisfy your desires. Practice “good selfishness” by ceasing to sacrifice yourself, to excuse yourself, to help when, objectively, it is not essential. It will be difficult at first, but quickly very liberating.
Majority of D: Intense emotion
Your hyper-emotivity leads you to feel everything too strongly. Hyper-empathetic, ultra-susceptible, super-reactive, very permeable to atmospheres, you capture intentions, decode silences… Nothing leaves you indifferent. For your misfortune as for your happiness, your “sensitivity” thermostat is pushed to the maximum.
Your needs: not too many stimulations and solicitations: to have regular access to solitude and silence to recuperate and regenerate yourself. Your decompression chambers and your solitary retreats are vital needs for you.
You fear: they are linked to aggression, through the feeling of being overwhelmed by a “intruder”. Feeling everything “too much”, this “too much” becomes a threat.
Originally: too much of “too much”. Your parents were too demanding during your childhood, where you lived in an environment that was too hectic, too noisy. You have accumulated misfortunes in the family, where your parents have made you a confidant or caregiver… Hyper-receptivity can also be of hormonal and temporary origin (menopause, andropause, premenstrual syndrome, pregnancy).
Towards more peace: return to your bubble regularly. Preferably aquatic, because the water soothes and envelops: scented baths, swimming pool sessions, thalassotherapy weekends… Sing to create a sound bubble, do modelling, walk, alone, to evacuate stress and reclaim emotions, feelings and thoughts. Finally, try on a day-to-day basis to measure the duration of your company, to set limits (say no to certain requests) and to put yourself at a good distance from “too much” personalities.